It’s as simple as ABC, and I don’t mean the 26 alphabets.
Just ABC is fine, or as easy as blinking. 🙂
Just focus on three things;
- 1. The Almighty God who has brought your love life to this point
- 2. The picture of your happy union which is about to blossom in newer ways than you ever knew
- 3. The budget, cos there’s life after the wedding.
Truth be told, too many opinions cause wedding planning stress, and when it comes to opinions, everyone has them, even you, thinking about things like:
- Who do we invite, who’s going to get angry?
- If we don’t have a five foot tall cake, people will think we are poor.
- My mum doesn’t like the venue, your dad doesn’t like the pastor.
- My friends would like to wear a certain fabric together.
- If we do just a court wedding, people will think I was pregnant before marriage.
- I want to wear a red dress but I don’t want them to think I couldn’t afford to at least rent a wedding dress.
- I really would like to sing on my wedding day but I don’t want them to say I copied Sara (whoever that is)
- My wedding cards are ugly, I really don’t want wedding cards unless they’re as amazing as I imagined when I was 5, I want them to open the card and then this bright light shines and my intending and I reflect on the walls of their room and start giving an invitation speech with music playing on the background.
- I want to arrive in a limo, I can’t believe we don’t have a car. He doesn’t have a car?
- If we don’t do prewedding videos and photos, they will think we are not goofy or romantic. Our prewedding pics should be taken by a professional, we can’t just use our phones.
- Why is she using her natural hair? The ring is not golden? She made herself up? The dress is not from Italy? I can’t believe they’re serving just snacks! Why is everywhere so hot?
- Why is the Pastor preaching? They didn’t get a live band, the dress was ugly, he didn’t wear a suit, there were no bridesmaids, I wasn’t invited, I wasn’t a bridesmaid, she sold the asoebi, I gave mine for free, why is she rushing the wedding, is he on a love potion? Why is she still wearing a white dress, all her exes are here and two of her daughters are on the bridal train.
Just LET IT GO!
You can do it on the balcony with your parents and the pastor, look good, take pictures, share them on Facebook, Insta, anywhere you wish.
You don’t have to invite the world, you don’t have to please everyone, only very few people care about your happiness, attending your wedding is not always a sign of love, close your heart to what people have to say, it’s your day, it’s about you, God and the future with your love. My friend who got married last week always used to say ‘As long as the groom is there, the bride is usually not going to notice”.
And if you have been blessed with great and understanding friends, they’ll admire you for the simplicity and classiness of your wedding and the maturity of your mind and your choices. Even if you have all the money in the world to spend, still focus on God, your union and the budget, not on what anyone tries to suggest. Ideas are easy to come by sometimes, talk is cheap.
A married man said to me over office lunch one day “I saw a different person in my wife when she was planning our marriage, she was fierce, tense, easily angered…I said, ‘but I don’t have that kind of money’, and she said she would borrow”
Another friend speaking about her friend’s breakup said “He called off the wedding because according to him, in his entire life, since he was a kid, he has never been involved in so many arguments as he has in the past three months since they started planning the wedding, not from his friends, sisters, aunts, never”.
Don’t start your wedding with debts, life goes on, don’t plan your wedding with fights and misunderstandings, love goes on, never leave God out of it, apply wisdom, knowing God is true wisdom, a wise woman builds her house, a lot that is said about the virtuous woman is about spending, creating wealth, savings, giving her husband someone to trust and compassion.
You’re about to start a life of planning and executing, both for him and the kids and your grandkids, don’t stress yourself, let it come naturally, spend wisely, let your husband-to-be, know that his peace is assured with you, forever, no stress, no debt, as much as it lies in your power, use wisdom, where it’s beyond you, remain focused on the One who brought you together, listen to good counsel, ignore anything or anyone that’s going to try to steal your joy with opinions, your wedding is not a show to impress anyone, if they want entertainment, they know where to go.
This is your big day! In future,as your wealth increases, if you want another party, with a dress, a cake and all, YOU STILL CAN HAVE IT! Even if you want to recreate the walk down the isle, with friends watching again, o please, have fun, do it as many times as you want.
Nothing stops you from celebrating love and renewing your vows again and again and again!
For now, learn to politely tell those who are putting unnecessary pressure on you that you and your husband are trying to create a beautiful memory, and it’s not a show, mind who you’re listening to, always choose happiness.
Create a beautiful memory…
I hope this helps!