WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME? – Pushing love away

 

Been seeing some posts about someone not loving you back and it’s their bad luck because they pushed away the person who loved them.

Do people just feel that their love does someone a favour just because it’s love? It’s really hard to push someone away because you can’t love them back but it’s better to let them go than to stay with them because they love to love you. I think I’d rather let a person go find someone who loves them back than to let them stay while I get love at their expense.

 

Everyone has reasons…the heart wants what the heart wants, if it’s not you, it’s not you, and if they let you stay, they’ll suffer, and they still will explode one day that you’re smothering them…take your love somewhere else without making it look like those people are terrible people..we all have choices to make. The choice may have been hard for them too.

 

When people tell me “I will stop calling you” or “I won’t text you anymore” I wonder what they want me to do with that information, I still won’t reply, that wasn’t a threat because I don’t feel endangered, you just took a big yoke off my neck. If I liked liked you, I wouldn’t give you a reason to feel like you need to go away. And you can quietly go away without reading lines off a script.

 

Do not go about feeling like you are the saviour of someone’s life because you love them or buy things for them or chat with them or run to rescue them when they need a knight in shining armor, all these things are good, but sometime’s they feel bad for themselves, and for you, because some things won’t change…and don’t push for reasons because you may never recover from their excuse. Just thank them, wish them the best and go.

 

I know this is really hard, trust me. But don’t hate or make fun of a person because they couldn’t like you back. That’s just sour grapes. I am sure you too have some people that you can’t love back or cannot imagine being with. It’s not karma, it’s the great circle of life…lol

 

I hope we all find someone, and if we never do, I hope that we still live happy lives, but don’t even think that your love is good for some particular person just because love is somewhat scarce.

 

If someone makes you feel like they don’t want…nicely understand. You are both in very difficult places, be understanding, don’t be selfish, if it’s love, wish them well lovingly and move on. Grapefruits are not grapes and lemons are not oranges, it’s crazy but it’s this stupid thing you guys call love

Best way to Learn Languages: This has worked for my students!

 

Hellooo,

If you don’t know where to start from or you have hired a teacher and you still can’t speak the language you are trying to learn, this video will get you on the perfect start to accomplish that multilingual dream you have or that you need your child to fulfil.

I hope they help you as they have me!

 

Please watch and subscribe too, you can also leave a comment or like, or suggestions…it’s a pretty new channel, thank youuuu 🙂

COUNTDOWN TO LEAVE HIM

Today’s date was amazing, 🙂  but it’s just a number, no he’s not.

He’s not just a number, I don’t know if it’s going to last or not, they hardly ever do. Just say no to sex or when they get handsy and you’ll never see them again.

And I don’t know if this guy’s just really cool or building up and marking time, but he seemed really cool.

Before I went out to meet him I had told my friend that look, he and I had a chat fight this morning,(actually I was the only one venting) and he’s acting really normal, I have to wear bullet proof tonight cos it looks like he wants to snipe me…lol

What started it? I asked him to resend any messages I may have missed since Samsung cleared my entire phone (apps, contacts, whatsapp, etc) and he sent me a screenshot. Behold, he saved my number as “Niger”…and it was funny but I kinda got mad like “I’m not even sure you know my name” called him stupid, said I didn’t want to be his friend anymore, then I came back and said I was sorry, but I still don’t wanna be your friend anymore, and he said cool.

We already planned a date for tonight so I thought it would be over, but it wasn’ttttttttt. Since we’re cool again (how many times have I used that word?) I went out, we had a nice time, and i didn’t get a whole bunch of what he was saying because I’m still learning Italian, but thanks to Google translate, we still had so much fun. And then at some point, he said in Italian “this is the same girl who called me stupid today” I heard that, and we just laughed, in a scary movie that would be the part where he would pull out a gun.

Why am I so dark?

I don’t wanna know. Well, one thing he doesn’t know is that I’m leaving Rome soon. I ran my mouth with other guys and they didn’t want nothing to do with the unkissable untouchable temporary girl, I don’t want to ruin this with my mouth so…I like you, but I cant tell you I’m leaving, and this might hurt but…today’s date was awesome…14 days to go

I know it’s mean but, it’s my dilemma.

Simple Tips: Beautiful Wedding, Zero Stress

It’s as simple as ABC, and I don’t mean the 26 alphabets.

Just ABC is fine, or as easy as blinking. 🙂

Just focus on three things;

  • 1.       The Almighty God who has brought your love life to this point
  • 2.       The picture of your happy union which is about to blossom in newer ways than you ever knew
  • 3.       The budget, cos there’s life after the wedding.

 

Truth be told, too many opinions cause wedding planning stress, and when it comes to opinions, everyone has them, even you, thinking about things like:

  • Who do we invite, who’s going to get angry?
  • If we don’t have a five foot tall cake, people will think we are poor.
  • My mum doesn’t like the venue, your dad doesn’t like the pastor.
  • My friends would like to wear a certain fabric together.
  • If we do just a court wedding, people will think I was pregnant before marriage.
  • I want to wear a red dress but I don’t want them to think I couldn’t afford to at least rent a wedding dress.
  • I really would like to sing on my wedding day but I don’t want them to say I copied Sara (whoever that is)
  • My wedding cards are ugly, I really don’t want wedding cards unless they’re as amazing as I imagined when I was 5, I want them to open the card and then this bright light shines and my intending and I reflect on the walls of their room and start giving an invitation speech with music playing on the background.
  • I want to arrive in a limo, I can’t believe we don’t have a car. He doesn’t have a car?
  • If we don’t do prewedding videos and photos, they will think we are not goofy or romantic. Our prewedding pics should be taken by a professional, we can’t just use our phones.
  • Why is she using her natural hair? The ring is not golden? She made herself up? The dress is not from Italy? I can’t believe they’re serving just snacks! Why is  everywhere so hot? 
  • Why is the Pastor preaching? They didn’t get a live band, the dress was ugly, he didn’t wear a suit, there were no bridesmaids, I wasn’t invited, I wasn’t a bridesmaid, she sold the asoebi, I gave mine for free, why is she rushing the wedding, is he on a love potion? Why is she still wearing a white dress, all her exes are here and two of her daughters are on the bridal train.

 

Just LET IT GO!

You can do it on the balcony with your parents and the pastor, look good, take pictures, share them on Facebook, Insta, anywhere you wish.

You don’t have to invite the world, you don’t have to please everyone, only very few people care about your happiness, attending your wedding is not always a sign of love, close your heart to what people have to say, it’s your day, it’s about you, God and the future with your love. My friend who got married last week always used to say ‘As long as the groom is there, the bride is usually not going to notice”.

And if you have been blessed with great and understanding friends, they’ll admire you for the simplicity and classiness of your wedding and the maturity of your mind and your choices. Even if you have all the money in the world to spend, still focus on God, your union and the budget, not on what anyone tries to suggest. Ideas are easy to come by sometimes, talk is cheap.

A married man said to me over office lunch one day “I saw a different person in my wife when she was planning our marriage, she was fierce, tense, easily angered…I said, ‘but I don’t have that kind of money’, and she said she would borrow”

Another friend speaking about her friend’s breakup said “He called off the wedding because according to him, in his entire life, since he was a kid, he has never been involved in so many arguments as he has in the past three months since they started planning the wedding, not from his friends, sisters, aunts, never”.

Don’t start your wedding with debts, life goes on, don’t plan your wedding with fights and misunderstandings, love goes on, never leave God out of it, apply wisdom, knowing God is true wisdom, a wise woman builds her house, a lot that is said about the virtuous woman is about spending, creating wealth, savings, giving her husband someone to trust and compassion.

You’re about to start a life of planning and executing, both for him and the kids and your grandkids, don’t stress yourself, let it come naturally, spend wisely, let your husband-to-be, know that his peace is assured with you, forever, no stress, no debt, as much as it lies in your power, use wisdom, where it’s beyond you, remain focused on the One who brought you together, listen to good counsel, ignore anything or anyone that’s going to try to steal your joy with opinions, your wedding is not a show to impress anyone, if they want entertainment, they know where to go.

This is your big day! In future,as your wealth increases, if you want another party, with a dress, a cake and all, YOU STILL CAN HAVE IT! Even if you want to recreate the walk down the isle, with friends watching again, o please, have fun, do it as many times as you want.

Nothing stops you from celebrating love and renewing your vows again and again and again!

For now, learn to politely tell those who  are putting unnecessary pressure on you that you and your husband are trying to create a beautiful memory, and it’s not a show, mind who you’re listening to, always choose happiness.

Create a beautiful memory…

I hope this helps!

NO MAN IS KEEPING HIMSELF FOR YOU

Last weekend, I unveiled my printer. There was no ceremony, lol, it’s just that I forgot to buy printing paper, and then on the way I remembered and said meh, I might have some test paper at home. That’s how I left it in the box for almost a week.

Finally, I did all the opening on Saturday. Transparent plastic removal, cord-releasing, ink sachet tearing, fresh smell-inhaling and said “hmmmm, like a virgin”…and I laughed alone.

    Some people have asked why I don’t drink saying “Is it for religious reasons or personal principles?” I’ll apply that question to why I don’t think it’s outdated and uncool to keep my legs closed… Is it because Jesus wants us to, or just my own personal principles? Well both of them, and I must add health reasons too, and psychological balance, ergo because Jesus says so, since all these other reasons are part of his plan.

I will never forget a married man in 2012 who taught he would never give up. As usual I didn’t tell him whether or not I had been with anyone, he just started preaching and he was the one who dropped the “No man is keeping himself for you” line. In fact if you are Nigerian, he said it like this “…no man is keeping himself for you O, you future husband will be somewhere now sleeping with other women and you want to form good girl”

O….but isn’t that grace? Isn’t that what marriage is about? Unmerited favour, overlooking, forgiveness, third chances, don’t you just feel special when God loves you in spite of how terrible you are and he still daily loads you with benefits?

(I’m not saying you shouldn’t care if your spouse has an STD from careless choices but let’s save that for another post)

WHAT’S THE COMPETITION?
In the same vein, a new friend I just made said that there is a possibility that if you marry a spouse who was as chaste as you were, he won’t value your chastity, to him it’s no big deal, he did it too.

(A weird mentality for any man to possess, not totally impossible, but it’s debatable.)

Let me see,… it’s not a competition that we’re bringing into the wedding night now is it? :


“Aha! You’re not a virgin, I said it” like when you finally see the meat your sister hid under her rice

“You’re not one either, who taught you how to unlock a bra?” Index finger abruptly pointing like it’s testing the temperature of a red hot coal

“Why would you judge me simply because I unlocked a bra?” Straight face, mouth open

“Wait, is this what our relationship has been about? How we’ll land on this bed and find out if we lied about our histories? Marriage is 5% sex and 95% living together” voice of a preacher lady

“O, so now you’re Myles Munroe” shaking head frantically

“What has gotten into you?” Looking surprised and confused

“You lieeeeeeeeddddddddd” eyes popping out of the sockets

“Who doesn’t?” Looking around like she just defended the helpless

“So now our marriage is based on a lie” sits up back against the headboard

“Please, you’re over-reacting” turns to the side, adjusts pillow

“How is this overreacting?” Voice turned up by one notch

“Did you ask me to marry you because you wanted to marry a virgin or because you wanted to be with me?” Trying to play cool

“I thought you were youuuuuuu, for youuuuuuu” presents an invisible her to her with palms open and facing the ceiling

“By a hymen?” Taciturn as a mafian don

“You didn’t have to lie”

“You didn’t have to sleep with other girls too before you proposed to me, now those girls are going to their husbands hymen-less” DJ turning it up too now

“At least those girls won’t lie”

“You shouldda married them” the last word landed on high note
“There’s no themmmmm, it’s you I wanted”
“So, we’re here now, what’s the big deal”
“You liedddddddd”
“O, so it’s not about the hymen?”
“No, it’s the lieeeee”
“Really….but you lied too”
“How?”
“How did you learn to unlock a bra?”
“O, thaaaat???” Points at the door like ‘it’ just walked out
“Yeap” feeling like Olivier Pope
“I see it on TVeeeeeee”
“Hmm…. I fell off a mango tree and split my legs apart”
“Is that another lie?”
“Please sleep, our friends and family think we’re married, some of them haven’t taken their shoes off yet”
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew….. I’m a married man” sarcastically…. “Strike one”
“Meh, I love you two”

Back to my blog…On my part, I would give respects to anyone who would keep themselves till they’re twenty five, or more (as singles I mean). Cos I know how much principle is required to do that and how how much discipline is applied in waiting, especially when you finally found a worthy man and you like him, and he’s hot.

My case has never been that of a lack of opportunity, it must be the OCPD or the Relationship OCPD that wants everything perfect, that wants to see the end.

WHAT IF NEVER?
I remember some guy in 2012, he wasn’t bad, he just didn’t get any, at least frm me, not even a hug, he said “Don’t go and die a virgin o, sex is sweet, you don’t want to miss out” Blah…. Thanks for the publicity!

I remember clearly earlier, in my pre-teens, one teenage meeting during an Agape Force convention, (I wasn’t in my teens yet, so in the group, I just had one leg in, but I liked the group), as an admonition, don’t know what led to it, Oge said, “if having sex will make me miss heaven, let me die before sex” I have never forgotten that line, maybe everyone else has but the picture of that meeting is still clear even now as I write.

Funny though, one time I was talking to Kimberly, I said, if Christ comes and people are being taken up in the sky, I might just give that puppy frown and say “it’s not fair God, I didn’t have sex..whyyyyyy?” And she, being married laughed and replied, “Is that better than going to heaven???”
Actually when that day comes, I won’t be thinking of anything else, the most supreme Groom is here, let’s go!

BUT HERE’S MORE:
This post is not intended to create any hype.
It is possible to still have a hymen and yet be sexually impure. Or to be sexually pure and still have other ‘issues’ with God, or issues that make you difficult to live with or make you unbearable in a human society, that people wonder how your family copes with you and pity in advance for the man you end up with.

It’s also possible to be the sweetest girl in the world and still be a door, because you gave your heart to someone, got abused, made some mistakes.

It also is likely that you were ignorant before, had no one to talk to you, weren’t exposed to the idea of self-respect, assertiveness, self pride and esteem or you just had to earn a living somehow, or go up the social ladder, but in your heart you’re still virtuous.

My darling God takes what’s ‘broken’ and makes it beautiful.

If you come to God, telling him how much you need him, you won’t just start life all over, he can take you from where you are and make you a centre of attraction, a brand new, priceless treasure. It’s about the eye that sees you and how He sees you.

If I get a used toaster from my sister’s kitchen and bring into mine, I might even value it more than she ever did, or more than my other new appliances which I pulled out of the box.

Who knows, there may really be no man keeping himself for you, but there’s a king who’s praying for the best, despite his initial bad taste and shortcomings, that’s value!

It’s the eye that sees you, as priceless!
It’s precious, and it’s mine….my Precious! (No, not Smeagul)

If you talk to any well-meaning elderly woman, they’ll always end it with “it’s better to wait” every one likes their delivery sealed and intact, whether it’s pizza, letters or cars.

*As for the drama, they made up and made out and lived happily ever after..hehe*

Above all, guard your heart with all diligence…if your heart is guarded, you’ll make sound choices. 🙂

Thumbs are aching…lol

I know why I haven’t written here in a while 🙂 I’ve started chatting again, that way, the message is dispersed on chats with friends and acquaintances to meet specific needs and moments and discussions on career, marriage, spiritual life, love, human nature, grace, conflict resolution, dating, forgiveness, breakups, make-ups, hobbies, business management and personal development, etc…

I need to get in my centre again….there’s so much to write about but everything is happening so fast and I’ve been focused on my French Channel Beginners’ Honeymoon since the 14th of August, bt it ended yesterday. I guess I have some time now.

If you’re on BBM and u’d love to make your français pop, or you just want to learn french or join a french community on BBM or know someone who does, pls use this link http://pin.bbm.com/C0047378C or LIKE Gourmet French on Facebook https://facebook.com/GourmetFrench

Bisous :*

Wanna add something? Feel free to drop a word

No One Ever Said Doing Good Was Easy…It’s Not Even In Our Nature

God help me.

I can’t afford to call myself a success when the people around me are not feeling it.

This is a humble cry. I know it won’t be easy so we pray for strength.

No one said loving was easy, nor doing good, nor being there for people…I know there are limits, but help us by your strength to be everything that Jesus requires of us.

We are not truly successful if the people around us are not experiencing success.

It’s human to go jungle-mode and look out for just oneself and one’s offspring, but it takes love to be superhuman.

That’s why they don’t understand us…it’s awful to love those who hurt you, to pray for those who persecute you or use you. The heart of man is desperately wicked…when you understand the meaning of the word desperately (when you’re at a desperate point in your life) it’ll help you understand the meaning of that scripture.

No one ever said doing good was easy…so if we still stick to selfishness, greed, analysis and judgement, envy, rivalry, cheating, always having our way..we are no better than animals, unrefined, selfish, like dog-eating-dog.

Love is what makes us more than human, but superhuman.

Love is the safest place on earth.

More love…Live Love

    Love till love is all you breathe…till not loving makes you suffocate, uncomfortable, barely alive.

God help us.