WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME? – Pushing love away

 

Been seeing some posts about someone not loving you back and it’s their bad luck because they pushed away the person who loved them.

Do people just feel that their love does someone a favour just because it’s love? It’s really hard to push someone away because you can’t love them back but it’s better to let them go than to stay with them because they love to love you. I think I’d rather let a person go find someone who loves them back than to let them stay while I get love at their expense.

 

Everyone has reasons…the heart wants what the heart wants, if it’s not you, it’s not you, and if they let you stay, they’ll suffer, and they still will explode one day that you’re smothering them…take your love somewhere else without making it look like those people are terrible people..we all have choices to make. The choice may have been hard for them too.

 

When people tell me “I will stop calling you” or “I won’t text you anymore” I wonder what they want me to do with that information, I still won’t reply, that wasn’t a threat because I don’t feel endangered, you just took a big yoke off my neck. If I liked liked you, I wouldn’t give you a reason to feel like you need to go away. And you can quietly go away without reading lines off a script.

 

Do not go about feeling like you are the saviour of someone’s life because you love them or buy things for them or chat with them or run to rescue them when they need a knight in shining armor, all these things are good, but sometime’s they feel bad for themselves, and for you, because some things won’t change…and don’t push for reasons because you may never recover from their excuse. Just thank them, wish them the best and go.

 

I know this is really hard, trust me. But don’t hate or make fun of a person because they couldn’t like you back. That’s just sour grapes. I am sure you too have some people that you can’t love back or cannot imagine being with. It’s not karma, it’s the great circle of life…lol

 

I hope we all find someone, and if we never do, I hope that we still live happy lives, but don’t even think that your love is good for some particular person just because love is somewhat scarce.

 

If someone makes you feel like they don’t want…nicely understand. You are both in very difficult places, be understanding, don’t be selfish, if it’s love, wish them well lovingly and move on. Grapefruits are not grapes and lemons are not oranges, it’s crazy but it’s this stupid thing you guys call love

Your Life happens once in a Lifetime

Dare up! You got this!

Dare up! You got this!

You can be everything you want to be if there’s enough time, and if someone believes in you and supports you.

With kind words, a helping hand, a network, some money or an education.

Stay awake, even if no one stands by you, stand strong

You can achieve if you don’t give up, so cheer up and dare up!

You got this!..keep moving and help will come, stop waiting and take charge, help is on the way 🙂

Because You Seem Brighter

stop playing safeBecause you’re beautiful, you will be hated

Because you’re smart, you wil be despised

Because you’re rich, you will be talked about

because you’re making good decisions, you will be put down

Because you feel good about yourself, you will be misunderstood

Heart gets broken, yet we still love

Stop playing safe, live life the best way that you can

And let people be people

Yes, people will be people

Another species of social animals that walk on twos, eat, poop and talk

Is that all you’re worried about?

Someone like you?

But someone less motivated?

Soaked in rivalry and unhealthy competition?

Is that enough?

Shouldn’t that push you further on?

You’re stronger than this, you know…

You’re stronger

The crown is heavy, but remain on the brighter side…

 

Video of Birthday Celebration from All Over The World for Her Excellency Patience Ambode

Video

Here’s a woman I’d like you to meet 🙂

Yes with all the unfair treatments in the world, there are still some people whose joy you share and whose testimony you celebrate from afar, unknown to you that one day, your paths will cross sweetly and unforgettably.

Besides my sweet mum, who remains the sweetest and most sacrificing woman in my life, God has shown me favour immensely through some of his people on earth.

I could say the story of how we met but I don’t know if you’ll be patient enough to read that episode through because I want you to watch this video fast….hehe

Thank you for being a sweet part of my life Mummy Ambo…

NO MAN IS KEEPING HIMSELF FOR YOU

Last weekend, I unveiled my printer. There was no ceremony, lol, it’s just that I forgot to buy printing paper, and then on the way I remembered and said meh, I might have some test paper at home. That’s how I left it in the box for almost a week.

Finally, I did all the opening on Saturday. Transparent plastic removal, cord-releasing, ink sachet tearing, fresh smell-inhaling and said “hmmmm, like a virgin”…and I laughed alone.

    Some people have asked why I don’t drink saying “Is it for religious reasons or personal principles?” I’ll apply that question to why I don’t think it’s outdated and uncool to keep my legs closed… Is it because Jesus wants us to, or just my own personal principles? Well both of them, and I must add health reasons too, and psychological balance, ergo because Jesus says so, since all these other reasons are part of his plan.

I will never forget a married man in 2012 who taught he would never give up. As usual I didn’t tell him whether or not I had been with anyone, he just started preaching and he was the one who dropped the “No man is keeping himself for you” line. In fact if you are Nigerian, he said it like this “…no man is keeping himself for you O, you future husband will be somewhere now sleeping with other women and you want to form good girl”

O….but isn’t that grace? Isn’t that what marriage is about? Unmerited favour, overlooking, forgiveness, third chances, don’t you just feel special when God loves you in spite of how terrible you are and he still daily loads you with benefits?

(I’m not saying you shouldn’t care if your spouse has an STD from careless choices but let’s save that for another post)

WHAT’S THE COMPETITION?
In the same vein, a new friend I just made said that there is a possibility that if you marry a spouse who was as chaste as you were, he won’t value your chastity, to him it’s no big deal, he did it too.

(A weird mentality for any man to possess, not totally impossible, but it’s debatable.)

Let me see,… it’s not a competition that we’re bringing into the wedding night now is it? :


“Aha! You’re not a virgin, I said it” like when you finally see the meat your sister hid under her rice

“You’re not one either, who taught you how to unlock a bra?” Index finger abruptly pointing like it’s testing the temperature of a red hot coal

“Why would you judge me simply because I unlocked a bra?” Straight face, mouth open

“Wait, is this what our relationship has been about? How we’ll land on this bed and find out if we lied about our histories? Marriage is 5% sex and 95% living together” voice of a preacher lady

“O, so now you’re Myles Munroe” shaking head frantically

“What has gotten into you?” Looking surprised and confused

“You lieeeeeeeeddddddddd” eyes popping out of the sockets

“Who doesn’t?” Looking around like she just defended the helpless

“So now our marriage is based on a lie” sits up back against the headboard

“Please, you’re over-reacting” turns to the side, adjusts pillow

“How is this overreacting?” Voice turned up by one notch

“Did you ask me to marry you because you wanted to marry a virgin or because you wanted to be with me?” Trying to play cool

“I thought you were youuuuuuu, for youuuuuuu” presents an invisible her to her with palms open and facing the ceiling

“By a hymen?” Taciturn as a mafian don

“You didn’t have to lie”

“You didn’t have to sleep with other girls too before you proposed to me, now those girls are going to their husbands hymen-less” DJ turning it up too now

“At least those girls won’t lie”

“You shouldda married them” the last word landed on high note
“There’s no themmmmm, it’s you I wanted”
“So, we’re here now, what’s the big deal”
“You liedddddddd”
“O, so it’s not about the hymen?”
“No, it’s the lieeeee”
“Really….but you lied too”
“How?”
“How did you learn to unlock a bra?”
“O, thaaaat???” Points at the door like ‘it’ just walked out
“Yeap” feeling like Olivier Pope
“I see it on TVeeeeeee”
“Hmm…. I fell off a mango tree and split my legs apart”
“Is that another lie?”
“Please sleep, our friends and family think we’re married, some of them haven’t taken their shoes off yet”
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew….. I’m a married man” sarcastically…. “Strike one”
“Meh, I love you two”

Back to my blog…On my part, I would give respects to anyone who would keep themselves till they’re twenty five, or more (as singles I mean). Cos I know how much principle is required to do that and how how much discipline is applied in waiting, especially when you finally found a worthy man and you like him, and he’s hot.

My case has never been that of a lack of opportunity, it must be the OCPD or the Relationship OCPD that wants everything perfect, that wants to see the end.

WHAT IF NEVER?
I remember some guy in 2012, he wasn’t bad, he just didn’t get any, at least frm me, not even a hug, he said “Don’t go and die a virgin o, sex is sweet, you don’t want to miss out” Blah…. Thanks for the publicity!

I remember clearly earlier, in my pre-teens, one teenage meeting during an Agape Force convention, (I wasn’t in my teens yet, so in the group, I just had one leg in, but I liked the group), as an admonition, don’t know what led to it, Oge said, “if having sex will make me miss heaven, let me die before sex” I have never forgotten that line, maybe everyone else has but the picture of that meeting is still clear even now as I write.

Funny though, one time I was talking to Kimberly, I said, if Christ comes and people are being taken up in the sky, I might just give that puppy frown and say “it’s not fair God, I didn’t have sex..whyyyyyy?” And she, being married laughed and replied, “Is that better than going to heaven???”
Actually when that day comes, I won’t be thinking of anything else, the most supreme Groom is here, let’s go!

BUT HERE’S MORE:
This post is not intended to create any hype.
It is possible to still have a hymen and yet be sexually impure. Or to be sexually pure and still have other ‘issues’ with God, or issues that make you difficult to live with or make you unbearable in a human society, that people wonder how your family copes with you and pity in advance for the man you end up with.

It’s also possible to be the sweetest girl in the world and still be a door, because you gave your heart to someone, got abused, made some mistakes.

It also is likely that you were ignorant before, had no one to talk to you, weren’t exposed to the idea of self-respect, assertiveness, self pride and esteem or you just had to earn a living somehow, or go up the social ladder, but in your heart you’re still virtuous.

My darling God takes what’s ‘broken’ and makes it beautiful.

If you come to God, telling him how much you need him, you won’t just start life all over, he can take you from where you are and make you a centre of attraction, a brand new, priceless treasure. It’s about the eye that sees you and how He sees you.

If I get a used toaster from my sister’s kitchen and bring into mine, I might even value it more than she ever did, or more than my other new appliances which I pulled out of the box.

Who knows, there may really be no man keeping himself for you, but there’s a king who’s praying for the best, despite his initial bad taste and shortcomings, that’s value!

It’s the eye that sees you, as priceless!
It’s precious, and it’s mine….my Precious! (No, not Smeagul)

If you talk to any well-meaning elderly woman, they’ll always end it with “it’s better to wait” every one likes their delivery sealed and intact, whether it’s pizza, letters or cars.

*As for the drama, they made up and made out and lived happily ever after..hehe*

Above all, guard your heart with all diligence…if your heart is guarded, you’ll make sound choices. 🙂

I AM THE ONE WHO IS

O LORD, WHY DID I ASK?

“I am the one who is”

There is an inexplicable wealth of substance in who He is, that He just doesn’t want to be disturbed to start talking, so he just smiles and says “I am”, an expression said in a certain ‘humility’ as if talking to a child about who you are when you’re too much to begin with and you don’t even have a beginning.

So my eyes are hovering around the room, and (in abstraction) around the universe, and when I think of I am, I think about the verb ‘To Be’. As a grammar student in more than 2 languages and with the emphasis I place on the verb ‘To be’ with respect to different moods, aspects, tenses and diverse pronouns, when trying to teach French to an English speaker who has no knowledge of the technical aspects of the English language or his local dialect, I can imagine what it would take a human with achievements as big as existing before the world and creating the world and minding every human and owning the wealth of the earth and being responsible for the beauty of the universe to call myself I AM.

I just exploded with an ibo expression but I can’t write out what I said because it only carries the weight of it’s meaning in the original language…a lot is lost in translation most of the time…. Think of what we may have lost simply because people made efforts to translate יהוה to I am, meaning HE WHO IS HE, or I AM THAT (WHAT/WHO) I AM, the Kabbalah interprets this as Yahweh Himself is equal to His name.

Heiii!!!!!….*native exclamation*

By identifying Himself as “I AM,” God is declaring that He always exists in the immediate now as before the world. He isn’t bound by time like we are. There was never a time when God wasn’t. He always IS, or always ‘AM’. He has no fixed point when He was born or brought into being. He has no beginning or end. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last ( Revelation 22:13).

God calls Himself I AM, a name which describes His eternal power and unchangeable character. “I AM THAT I AM,” declares God to be self- existent, without beginning, without end. This is also expressed in the term “Yahweh,” meaning “I Am the One Who Is.”

*Hmmmmmm*

Even if ‘I am the One who is’, is God’s response to “I am who?”, given that “I am who?” was a possible retort or question in the mind of a yet perplexed Moses, like a Secretary or registration officer waiting to take down your surname, or even your first name in this case, it still doesn’t do justice to God’s expression of Himself as ‘I am’.

If you confidently replied me with ‘I am the One who is’ you might as well have stopped at ‘I am’.

Just like ‘I do’, I think the perfect translation would have been ‘I be’, but God didn’t want you to think of Him as a subject of time, because as an infinite verb, ‘Be’ would have to be subject to the different variations of conjugation, controlled by time, dominated by moods, persons and numbers.

‘I am’, is not an incomplete description, it’s not lacking object or adjective or noun or first name, it is a whole expression, of 3 letters, yet larger than the universe, a complete expression, deeper than our minds can contain, higher than eternity, only fit for God, Yahweh, the I am, that our words can never explain. It’s like “I’d rather leave it as that, than to break it down for you. I’ll reveal myself to you, but I can’t minimise myself just so you can understand, but I love you and I want you to get to know me, and not see me as too unapproachable for you, because I want a relationship with you, so I am….not because I’m short of words, but I am…because I am.”

And that’s deep!

But Uncle Moses is a funny man though. With time, after becoming a huge fan of God’s, he asked to see his glory, his face…

And the same God said in Exodus 33:

    20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”
    21 Then the Lord said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock.
    22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.
    23Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”

That’s the same God who told you His name is I AM, because His ‘identity’ is too grand for you to comprehend, in your small soft human brain packaged like large sized macaronis in a secure dome called a skull, no matter how amazingly sophisticated and impeccable your brain is, you haven’t even been able to use up to 20% and now you want to have them blown out? That’s death….He said I am, that’s too grand, too vast, too deep, too timeless, too unique because He is not like other gods, and it would be insulting to compare him with, He is in a class of His own, that should not be called ‘a class’ because it limits him,it categorises him, so He just Is, He Be, He Am, He Is I Am, who Is, the One who is equal to His name, what is this his name? I am.

He is….so I call Him what He is to me and in my times of wonderment, I jst say with confirmation, as if in a whisper “Youuuuuuuuu aaaaaaaaarrrrrre” giving a slow nod of unwavering and doubtless approval (which He doesn’t need from me, my opinion doesn’t matter). Because He is.

I don’t need to put you in a box…You are!

    “Therefore watch yourselves very carefully. Since you saw no form on the day that the LORD spoke to you at Horeb out of the midst of the fire, beware lest you act corruptly by making a carved image for yourselves, in the form of any figure, the likeness of male or female… (Deut 4:15-19)

We have called you many names, and I’m still looking for many more names to call you, as my personal lover, but ikari ihe anyi si n’ibu.(Igbo expression meaning «You surpass what we say You are»)

Lord I worship you because of who you are
“Who are You?”
I am

I am.

You are the One who is the One that You Are.

Wanna add something? Feel free to drop a word