NO MAN IS KEEPING HIMSELF FOR YOU

Last weekend, I unveiled my printer. There was no ceremony, lol, it’s just that I forgot to buy printing paper, and then on the way I remembered and said meh, I might have some test paper at home. That’s how I left it in the box for almost a week.

Finally, I did all the opening on Saturday. Transparent plastic removal, cord-releasing, ink sachet tearing, fresh smell-inhaling and said “hmmmm, like a virgin”…and I laughed alone.

    Some people have asked why I don’t drink saying “Is it for religious reasons or personal principles?” I’ll apply that question to why I don’t think it’s outdated and uncool to keep my legs closed… Is it because Jesus wants us to, or just my own personal principles? Well both of them, and I must add health reasons too, and psychological balance, ergo because Jesus says so, since all these other reasons are part of his plan.

I will never forget a married man in 2012 who taught he would never give up. As usual I didn’t tell him whether or not I had been with anyone, he just started preaching and he was the one who dropped the “No man is keeping himself for you” line. In fact if you are Nigerian, he said it like this “…no man is keeping himself for you O, you future husband will be somewhere now sleeping with other women and you want to form good girl”

O….but isn’t that grace? Isn’t that what marriage is about? Unmerited favour, overlooking, forgiveness, third chances, don’t you just feel special when God loves you in spite of how terrible you are and he still daily loads you with benefits?

(I’m not saying you shouldn’t care if your spouse has an STD from careless choices but let’s save that for another post)

WHAT’S THE COMPETITION?
In the same vein, a new friend I just made said that there is a possibility that if you marry a spouse who was as chaste as you were, he won’t value your chastity, to him it’s no big deal, he did it too.

(A weird mentality for any man to possess, not totally impossible, but it’s debatable.)

Let me see,… it’s not a competition that we’re bringing into the wedding night now is it? :


“Aha! You’re not a virgin, I said it” like when you finally see the meat your sister hid under her rice

“You’re not one either, who taught you how to unlock a bra?” Index finger abruptly pointing like it’s testing the temperature of a red hot coal

“Why would you judge me simply because I unlocked a bra?” Straight face, mouth open

“Wait, is this what our relationship has been about? How we’ll land on this bed and find out if we lied about our histories? Marriage is 5% sex and 95% living together” voice of a preacher lady

“O, so now you’re Myles Munroe” shaking head frantically

“What has gotten into you?” Looking surprised and confused

“You lieeeeeeeeddddddddd” eyes popping out of the sockets

“Who doesn’t?” Looking around like she just defended the helpless

“So now our marriage is based on a lie” sits up back against the headboard

“Please, you’re over-reacting” turns to the side, adjusts pillow

“How is this overreacting?” Voice turned up by one notch

“Did you ask me to marry you because you wanted to marry a virgin or because you wanted to be with me?” Trying to play cool

“I thought you were youuuuuuu, for youuuuuuu” presents an invisible her to her with palms open and facing the ceiling

“By a hymen?” Taciturn as a mafian don

“You didn’t have to lie”

“You didn’t have to sleep with other girls too before you proposed to me, now those girls are going to their husbands hymen-less” DJ turning it up too now

“At least those girls won’t lie”

“You shouldda married them” the last word landed on high note
“There’s no themmmmm, it’s you I wanted”
“So, we’re here now, what’s the big deal”
“You liedddddddd”
“O, so it’s not about the hymen?”
“No, it’s the lieeeee”
“Really….but you lied too”
“How?”
“How did you learn to unlock a bra?”
“O, thaaaat???” Points at the door like ‘it’ just walked out
“Yeap” feeling like Olivier Pope
“I see it on TVeeeeeee”
“Hmm…. I fell off a mango tree and split my legs apart”
“Is that another lie?”
“Please sleep, our friends and family think we’re married, some of them haven’t taken their shoes off yet”
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew….. I’m a married man” sarcastically…. “Strike one”
“Meh, I love you two”

Back to my blog…On my part, I would give respects to anyone who would keep themselves till they’re twenty five, or more (as singles I mean). Cos I know how much principle is required to do that and how how much discipline is applied in waiting, especially when you finally found a worthy man and you like him, and he’s hot.

My case has never been that of a lack of opportunity, it must be the OCPD or the Relationship OCPD that wants everything perfect, that wants to see the end.

WHAT IF NEVER?
I remember some guy in 2012, he wasn’t bad, he just didn’t get any, at least frm me, not even a hug, he said “Don’t go and die a virgin o, sex is sweet, you don’t want to miss out” Blah…. Thanks for the publicity!

I remember clearly earlier, in my pre-teens, one teenage meeting during an Agape Force convention, (I wasn’t in my teens yet, so in the group, I just had one leg in, but I liked the group), as an admonition, don’t know what led to it, Oge said, “if having sex will make me miss heaven, let me die before sex” I have never forgotten that line, maybe everyone else has but the picture of that meeting is still clear even now as I write.

Funny though, one time I was talking to Kimberly, I said, if Christ comes and people are being taken up in the sky, I might just give that puppy frown and say “it’s not fair God, I didn’t have sex..whyyyyyy?” And she, being married laughed and replied, “Is that better than going to heaven???”
Actually when that day comes, I won’t be thinking of anything else, the most supreme Groom is here, let’s go!

BUT HERE’S MORE:
This post is not intended to create any hype.
It is possible to still have a hymen and yet be sexually impure. Or to be sexually pure and still have other ‘issues’ with God, or issues that make you difficult to live with or make you unbearable in a human society, that people wonder how your family copes with you and pity in advance for the man you end up with.

It’s also possible to be the sweetest girl in the world and still be a door, because you gave your heart to someone, got abused, made some mistakes.

It also is likely that you were ignorant before, had no one to talk to you, weren’t exposed to the idea of self-respect, assertiveness, self pride and esteem or you just had to earn a living somehow, or go up the social ladder, but in your heart you’re still virtuous.

My darling God takes what’s ‘broken’ and makes it beautiful.

If you come to God, telling him how much you need him, you won’t just start life all over, he can take you from where you are and make you a centre of attraction, a brand new, priceless treasure. It’s about the eye that sees you and how He sees you.

If I get a used toaster from my sister’s kitchen and bring into mine, I might even value it more than she ever did, or more than my other new appliances which I pulled out of the box.

Who knows, there may really be no man keeping himself for you, but there’s a king who’s praying for the best, despite his initial bad taste and shortcomings, that’s value!

It’s the eye that sees you, as priceless!
It’s precious, and it’s mine….my Precious! (No, not Smeagul)

If you talk to any well-meaning elderly woman, they’ll always end it with “it’s better to wait” every one likes their delivery sealed and intact, whether it’s pizza, letters or cars.

*As for the drama, they made up and made out and lived happily ever after..hehe*

Above all, guard your heart with all diligence…if your heart is guarded, you’ll make sound choices. 🙂

There’s this something about the journey…

I have seen the result of hard work, and I have also studied that in every success story, there is always one thing that doesn’t rhyme; one thing that cause and effect cannot explain as it relates to effort put in, or determination, or any of those things they say bring success.

You may want to call it time and chance but I call it the Favour Factor. Something that God dashes you, it just happens in the journey and either makes you wonder why you’ve been working so hard or it makes your effort so worth the try.

It’s the opportunity, the happenstance, the somebody you meet, the somebody who believes, or the event that takes place just in time, or a gift, a door, an element of favour.

Nobody can fight this in your life. Envy, they might, because it’s usually not fair, but to a virtuous onlooker, your story says that there is still hope for them.

Never ever ever envy the ‘luck’ in a person’s life, there is more than enough undeserved favour from God to go around. Some of us work hard, and for some of us, it drops on our laps, cos as we all know, what works for another may not work for you.

But the truth remains, something will happen, or somebody, that will make that dream eventually come to pass.

Know your call, know your God, forget what people say, keep doing the good work and expect your favour factor, because it must happen. The waiting periods and the journeys may differ but it must happen, beyond your dreams. You’re allowed to keep your hopes up.

I am Hovasabee, and this is the Gospel according to love.IMG-20151008-16994-001